In a radical act of self-love and kindness, I thought to give myself some grace for the start of the year. Meaning I wasn’t going to follow my automated pattern of run with the wolves – now!
Because usually when January first hits, I get into my starting blocks thinking about how terrific I will manage each and everything THIS year! And I have to get going. NOW. And along with it, it seems to me; the world is creating vision boards and making plans to do the same.
To produce the most successful year ever! – Do you feel that too?
Grace came to me in the form of my ayurvedic teacher (and the science of life). In a recent exchange with her, she pointed out an essential truth.
We are in the darkest time of the year, and the elements of water and earth are dominant. They are not light and bright and in their starting blocks, but rather slow, gentle, and resourceful. Trying to support us in nourishing and not overwhelming ourselves by stepping into multitasking actions.
New Year’s day always throws a spanner into that acknowledgement for me. It feels I need to take action – right now – and be ahead of the game. While my body is still screaming: Look after yourself!
When I push the gas pedal, I get the usual stress response and symptoms quite early in the year:
- fatigue (I want to rest, but I need to push on as there is so much more to do),
- irritation (why is nobody walking the dog – why is it always me?),
- depletion (more dry skin for me -yippie).
Having been on a long journey of self-discovery, I understood immediately what she was proposing. The helicopter mum, the woman that believes she has her superpowers constantly on (with no alter ego or character that allows her to be human) they both have to leave or even better take rest.
When it’s dark outside, when it rains, when even the dog is sleeping more than ever, and my daughter has gone hibernating then I should learn to read the signs that are saying:
it is time to take stock
and go with the resourcefulness of water and earth. The cohesion. The deep building of foundations. The nourishment.
Another valuable lesson I learnt last year that added to this, was: I first need to look back to know how I want to move forward. I can start to set up things from a perspective of what worked – what didn’t work. (i.e. through SWOT analysis). Instead of being incentivised through new material, strategies and pulled pushed and dragged by anything that comes my way. But see my choices instead.
After all, choices are the secret ingredients to happiness.
As Pema Chödrön confirms in her book ‘Taking the leap’: A Native American grandfather was speaking to his grandson about violence and cruelty in the world and how it comes about. He said it was as if two wolves were fighting in his heart. One wolf was vengeful and angry, and the other wolf was understanding and kind. The young man asked his grandfather which wolf would win the fight in his heart. And the grandfather answered, ‘the one that wins will be the one I choose to feed’. After reading this tale, I felt inspired to create a frame how I am setting goals in 2019.
Goals that are manageable and that reflect my own choice of direction. Then feel into them.
Experiment with my goals, before I make commitments, I am not able to keep.
Being, who I am, a nurturer – I invited whoever wanted to participate in the ‘Feed the right wolf – Vision Quest’ and It turned into a 40min online session that I recorded and that left everybody inspired to work on their details.
You can still get the recording if you want to do your own.
All you need to do is send me an email, and I forward the link including the presentation.
What you will get:
- You will get ideas on what you need to do, to underwhelm instead of overwhelming yourself with your new years’ resolution. How you stick to your script and what makes you feed the right wolf. And how to radiate and trust into what you set out to do.
- Part of it is to free yourself from old habits that are not working any longer and to step out of fear patterns that are blocking your quest.